Five NBA Things I may or may not have Liked: Melt-off, Anti-Tank, Hornets’ Pace, Streaked, Poster Heroes

Melt-off

On Wednesday night, the Houston Rockets and Minnesota Timberwolves treated a national audience to one of the most entertaining, horrible basketball games of the season. It is incredibly difficult to put into words just how shockingly hilarious the end of this game was. First, this was a good old-fashioned rock fight for the game’s first 45-odd minutes.

With 3:47 left in the game, the Wolves held a 93-82 lead, and with how the Rockets had been playing, the game looked as good as over. Then madness struck the Wolves. The Rockets closed the game on a 13-2 run, which included three insane defensive plays by Alperen Sengun, to force overtime with the game knotted at 95-95.

In overtime, the Rockets exploded out of the gates with a 13-0 run, and led 108-95 with 3:01. At that point, Houston was on a 26-2 run, and looked poised to pull off a stunning comeback thanks to a calamitous collapse by Minnesota. But as the great Lee Corso would say, “Not so fast!”

From that moment on, the Timberwolves went on a 15-0 run, which included Kevin Durant missing the first of a pair of free throws that would have tied the game at 110. If the Timberwolves had been whole, this would have been an epic failure from the Rockets, but by the end, they were running out Juluis and the Miracles. Anthony Edwards and Ayo Dosunmo sat out the contest, Rudy Gobert fouled out, Naz Reid had been ejected, and Jaden McDaniels left the game with an injury.

This game was like watching the Three Mile Island disaster get upstaged by Chernobyl. I absolutely loved the grotesqueness of it all, but my god, it was pitiful basketball. The Wolves and Rockets play again at the end of the season, and hopefully, we get treated to another marquee meltdown.

Anti-Tank

The NBA has just presented three “comprehensive solutions” to combat the tanking epidemic, according to ESPN’s reporting. I’ll make a video about these solutions, but let me tell you, they don’t actually address the problem. The NBA refuses to admit that the league’s structural issue is that being in the middle is unrewarded.

Making the playoffs as an eight seed sucks. Making the play-in is a waste of time. Basically, being one of the 11th to 20th best teams in the league is an abject disaster. You’re not really a playoff team, and you’re not going to land a draft pick that will change your franchise, but you’re by no means an awful team.

However, instead of figuring out a way to reward teams in the middle that makes it something to celebrate, the league continues to siphon off resources and hope from the bottom teams. While this will randomly benefit these teams in the middle, it will also lead to bad teams staying worse for longer.

None of these solutions addresses the root cause of tanking. Unless you abolish the draft, or make it completely untied to team performance– two ideas which would nuke the value of mid and small market franchises– then you’ll have some form of tanking. The question the league needs to ask itself is this: Is it good for franchises to suck forever?

Hornets’ Pace

The Charlotte Hornets are coming for everyone. Following last night’s 114-103 win over the New York Knicks, the Hornets are 39-34 and only two games back from the fifth seed in the East. Based on their current form, I think they have to be the favorites to get there. Regardless of where they finish, if they make it out of the play-in, they will be the most dreaded first-round opponent in the East, and they look awfully similar to last season’s Pacers.

I’m not saying the Hornets are going to make a run to the NBA Finals, but I am saying that they look better than those Pacers did at this point, and have been the best team in the Eastern Conference for 50 games now.

Streaked

The Washington Wizards and Indiana Pacers finally saw their streaks come to an end this week. For a month straight, both the Wizards and Pacers lost every single game. From February 19th to March 21st, the Pacers went 0-16, and the Wizards, from February 22nd to March 22nd, followed suit.

The fact that both teams were embroiled in such prolonged losing streaks drew the mockery of the league, but look who’s laughing now? The Pacers ended their misery by dealing the Orlando Magic a 128-126 loss, while the Wizards were treated to the Utah Jazz’s own perverse ineptitude.

Obviously, neither of these teams has put their best foot forward over this span, but showing up to work for an entire month without a win has to be draining. However, the work’s not done. The Wizards and Nets have 17 wins, the Pacers are at 16, with the Kings lurking at 19. Both the Wizards and Pacers have one game remaining with the Nets, which could present us with some of the most shameless tanking in the history of the league.

Poster Heroes

One of the great pleasures of watching the NBA is the posterization. For all the emphasis on pace and space, the backbone of this country is still a full-blooded, nut-introducing slam on another man. And while we rightly focus on those who dish out the pain, I think we should peer across the aisle and celebrate the true heroes.

There can be no poster without someone willing to risk it all. These men who so dutifully sacrifice their dignity are the true heroes. They know the odds are against them, but they also know they have a job. Protect the rim, or die trying. Like the men who stormed Normandy 80 years ago, the true heroes aren’t the ones who made it back home, but the ones who found their final resting places on the bloodsoaked beaches of France.

So, the next time you see an earth-shattering poster, don’t forget to salute the defender who risked it all. They’re the true hero. They’re the ones who give posters their meaning.

For any inquiries about work, discussion, and the like, you can email me at nevin.l.brown@gmail.com.